New Year... Old Problems

So welcome to two thousand and eleven everybody. Give yourself a hand. Once again we made it through 365 days worth of crap. So its been a long year, lets look back.

I guess to start with I should say that I no longer have a job. I myself find this terrifying. For the past 5 years my job has defined me. When people would say, " Hey Nik, what's up man?" All I could say in response was "Nothing really just working." But now there is no work. There is no getting up at 4am to be at work by 5. There is no going to bed a 9 or 10, and missing out on what all my friends are doing. Frankly it scares the crap out of me that i don't have something to do everyday. I'm a blank slate just waiting to be written on.
First off, I need a job!! maybe not something that has me working 60hr plus weeks, but something to pay the bills. Second I need to take a step back and really examine my life and what I want to do with it. Some close friends of mine who don't know each other recently both told me that i should be a teacher. A teacher,  someone who molds the minds of this countries youth to do great things. Scary thought to me.
Whatever it is I'm supposed to do I hope that God will lead me into a place that I need to be.

That brings up something else. In the past year I have really gotten away from God. I try to rely on myself rather than believe in God and believe he has something for me.
In the next year I want to really get back to him. Get back to putting my faith in God that he will make things good for me. I want to get involved too. My church has always been a huge part of my life and for the past year I have gotten away from it. I want to get back in there. I want to immerse back into the programs and be a leader to younger college students.

Well sorry my thoughts are so random, but hey there mine and if you are reading this I don't care what you think. Well good night, good luck, and above all else trust in GOD.-PEACE

I Can't Think About Anything Wity

So if I say that I hate weddings, would everybody in the world hate me? After spending all today helping friends of mine "tie the knot", I'm just about ready to kill myself. Don't get me wrong though, I very much enjoy the idea of a wife, someone who I can spend the rest of my life with, someone who will never leave my side, and someone who makes me want to be a better person. Its just that when you put on this big event leading up to something that can be just as easily done in a courthouse with a couple of witnesses. It just makes it seem pointless. Yeah I understand that its a proclamation to the world saying "look at me, we are in love, we want everybody in the world to be jealous of us". I'm not jealous, I just want to live my life and tell the world how much I love my significant other, just not while stressing about table placements and decorations. Maybe if when I fall in love and am ready to get married I'll just hire someone to do everything for me. I don't want to hear a word about my wedding. I want a date, a time, a place, and something to wear. Thats it. Or maybe I'm just dreaming. Maybe my views will be different one day but until then shot me in the head before I have to plan a wedding.

Have you ever thought about just leaving?

I work for a company that sends me all around the country. I've been in tiny towns and great big cities. More often than not, when I'm on the road, I find myself thinking about moving to wherever I am that certain day. I think about finding a job and a place to stay and how easy it would be to just pack up and leave.


But then I get to thinking about my life in Alabama. My friends and how hard it would be to leave them. My family and how much it would hurt them if I left. And then there is the one thing that makes me want to leave but at the same time makes it so I could never leave. Love. Its impossible to just get up and leave love.  When I take a step back I realize that I have a great life, even though things don't  go as I plan sometimes, I wouldn't want to change a thing. 


So if you ever just want to leave all your worries behind and just go, think about all the good things in your life. Your friends, your family, and the people you love. Just think about them and maybe like me you will find that there is nowhere else you would rather be.